Should Calories Make or Break a Meal?
Dear HEALTHCLASS student,
I used to (and still sometimes do) battle with myself over this question and the presence of calories. “I deserve a piece of cake.. nevermind it’s 300 calories” or “I could really go for a poke bowl right now… um actually…. I changed my mind, it’s 600 calories.” Little did I know that calories DO NOT make or break a meal. If absolutely anything, restricting will only lead you down the windy and unfortunate eating disorder road of binging, overexcersizing, restrecting, etc. In order to garentee you are trying your absolute best to avoid this road, you want to honour your cravings!!! If you are craving some fries, GO AND EAT THOSE FRIES. If you spot a really good looking croissant in a bakery, who’s stopping you from getting it? NO ONE BUT YOURSELF. Trust me, I know getting up and eating your “fear foods” is easier said than done. I have suffered from an eating disorder since 13 years old. I used to refuse to eat foods such as salmon, avocado, nuts, and rice all because of how high in calories they were. I KNOW - You might be thinking, “Zade, aren’t the foods you listed known for being good for you?”, but when I had these fears I didn’t want to acknowledge all of the health benefits because what mattered most were the calories. This mentality, let me tell you, did NOT get me the “dream body” I wanted to achieve. Since I was prioritizing lower calorie foods, I failed to acknowledge that what I was eating either had a lot of refined sugars or sodium, etc. These ingredients are not helpful in trying to lose weight as refined sugars usually convert to fat over time. Only when I researched and realized the cons of my low-calorie concoctions, and the health benefits of some of my fear foods, did I begin to free my diet a little more. When I started eating protein packed meals with vegetables and carbs I began to see the results in my body; please keep in mind that I was also active - I worked out for 30-60min 5-6 days a week, and I had dance 5 days a week. Although I was feeling a lot healthier and seeing results in my body by eating very clean, my soul wasn’t satisfied 100% of the time. Every day I wasn’t honoring having something sweet like a brownie or a cookie, my desire to have that certain food increased. I was constantly thinking about food and watching dessert or “what I eat in a day” videos on my phone as if doing that would satiate my craving. At one point I had enough, and I ate a scone. However, since I had a scone, which I knew had a lot of calories and not that many health benefits, I thought my whole day was wasted, and that I ruined my “dream body” on a scone. If you have ever been in the same scenario as me, I am so sorry. I can’t describe how incredibly annoying that little voice is telling you to spit out the dessert in your mouth, or to starve, or binge for the rest of the day (I will be coming out with a whole seperate blog post about binge eating as I have had my fair share of experiences in that field).
I knew I couldn’t keep living a life of sorrow always restricting, so I decided to look more into something called intuitive eating that tiktokers I watched mentioned. I was so intrigued by the concept of 1. eating when you are hungry and stopping when you’re full and 2. eating what you are craving without the guilt. As I learned about intuitive eating, I began to shift my eating habits. This shift DID NOT happen quickly for me, rather it took a few months. Please also keep in mind that I have not yet mastered the whole intuitive eater persona, and there are still times where I restrict myself or feel guilty about the food I ate; that doesn’t mean I am not trying, though (and it absolutely shouldn’t mean you aren’t trying or should stop trying).
From being 13yrs old to 15yrs old, I can confidently say that calories do not make your meals any less “good” or “bad”. You can still achieve your “dream body”, the body YOU FEEL the healthiest in, by eating what you’re craving EVEN if it’s high in calories. At the end of the day, you get to decide how good you feel, and if that means eating to fuel your body AND soul then so be it.
Love,
Your teen, Zade
THE BInging Scaries
Dear HEALTHCLASS student,
Binging sucks. I’ll say it now, and I will say it 100x times again, binging sucks. What’s even worse than binging though is the process/actions that get you to there. For me, that process was starving myself.
I would deprive my body of the foods I craved throughout the day just so that I could allow myself to eat dessert before bed. Although every time dessert rolled around, the one cookie I set aside to have turned into 5 cookies and a bowl of cereal. In the end, I would stumble into bed feeling not only sick from all of the sweets I ate, but also guilty for eating so much. However, no matter how terrible I felt the night before, I continued my starve-binge plan. I did this routine because I truly felt that it would make a difference on my body, and to a certain extent I convinced myself it did. So, every weekday I would starve myself at school and come home to snacking on everything when I got home. When weekends came around, I would do my usual starving technique, but since I went to bed later that meant I could binge until late in the evening. Those nights only led to more stomach pain and breakdowns.
One time, my mum walked in on me wiping away the heavy tears that ran down my face from my breakdown. I can’t explain the look of fear and concern that my mother gave me that night. The look of knowing your child is suffering. Within an instant, my mum sat down next to me and gave me cuddles until I was ready to speak. That night was the first time I had opened up about my starving and binging to anyone.
After hearing what I had to say, my mum offered the possibility of seeing a nutritionist. Upon listening to those words, a rush of shock flowed over me knowing the seriousness of my situation. I was hit with the realization that there was a big part of me that I wasn’t able to figure out how to deal with just yet. I eventually agreed to the idea after some consideration as I was in desperate need of finding a solution to my eating habits. Please note that I completely understand that not everyone has access to a nutritionist to speak to, so I am incredibly grateful that I even had the opportunity to meet with one; this privilege inspired me to invite nutritionists as guest speakers on the HEALTHCLASS podcast as it will be a way for teens to listen to professional advice with no fee.
As I met with the nutritionist more and more I soon learned about the motto “Food is Fuel”. Our body is like an engine and every time our gas tank runs low, one has to prioritize fuel to avoid breaking down. However, this fuel technically only works if it can successfully fill you up for a long amount of time (as some fuel can leave your tank feeling low quickly). If at one point you feel your gas tank is completely full, there is no need to conduct a refill, you can carry on with your day! Although if you ever do refill when still full, you absolutely don’t want to waste any time worrying about it! After all, you still have a whole gas tank to carry on with.
Keeping this understanding in mind definitely helped pave the way of my road down recovery. I learned to approach food as fuel and ate with the mindset of powering my body up not beating it down. Although I am in recovery from my eating disorder, that doesn’t mean I’ve completely escaped my old eating habits; I’m still working on them! Getting over binging has not been easy nor has it taken a short amount of time, but I still believe in myself and my ability to strengthen my eating habits - and you should too!
Everyone deserves to recover, everyone CAN recover, but it is up to you have faith in this transition.
Love,
Your teen, Zade
